So, I recently broke up with my boyfriend (JW) of one year. And of course by recently, I mean two weeks ago, but it was only one week ago that the last nail really fell in the coffin.
At first I was sad, of course, and at first it seemed like we might be able to fix things. But no. There was no fixing this. Everyone keeps telling me now I need to look outward and older (he was only 6 months older than me). I suppose they have a point, he was too emotionally immature, he has problems he needs to work out on his own. And it comes down to the simple truth that we werent well matched for each other anyways.
In the wake of this, I must admit that I feel mostly relief. I feel free, and light and unburdened now that we're no longer together. It's amazing. And I've taken this past week or so to realize I need to focus on me, on my interests and my hobbies and all the projects I've put on the back burner, both for him and for school. It's a revalation.
Perhaps it's a horrible thing to say, admitting that I'm happier now than when I was with him, that I almost wish we'd broken up earlier, but I wont say that, because this has been a very beneficial learning experience. And, if nothing else, it can always be used later as material ;)
Now I approach Wednesday with something like dread, because there are still three days left to the week, but I have nothing to worry about beyond the basic stresses of school itself. It's refreshing. I move forward into the world my own person, with my own thoughts and opinions and a carefree attitude. I don't always have to be wrong or misinformed or whatever. I can have my thoughts and my hobbies and they shall be mine alone and I dont have to think about children. It puts something like a cheery note on even Wednesday.
More to come on my new knitting project (and my new I do mean two weeks old), books I'm reading and probably some whining about school.
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